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| Completed look, writings done with Wilton icing gel |
10 years on, the economy is still struggling to recover from another downturn, perhaps recession would be a better term. Life had moved on for me since 10 years ago: graduation, getting employed, starting a family and expanding it with two children. The marriage had since matured two people who chose to share their lives together. There were numerous disagreements, arguments, adjustments and compromises. We learned to appreciate each other's strengths, tolerate and love each other's shortcomings. I must admit it had not been easy. It would not be such a significant and meaningful 10th year anniversary had it been smooth-sailing.
This is the second year I spend our wedding anniversary as a stay-at-home Mum. But this is the first time the Hubby asked me about my thoughts of our marriage. Frankly speaking, I haven't given it much thoughts. But when asked, the only thing I feel immediately is happiness. Needless to say, there were spousal arguments. Ultimately, both of us came from different background and upbringing, we have different habits. Frictions are unavoidable. My happiness came from all the efforts that both of us made to stay together (through thick and thin episodes of fights), the compromise that both of us made for each other's family and the sacrifices that both of us made for each other in the last 10 years to hold our small family together. There is something I'd like to put here to remind myself and to share with whoever that comes across this blog and who decides to read it.
"I've learned this much about marriage," he said now. "You get tested. You find out who you are, who the other person is, and how you accommodate or don't."
Is there some kind of rule to know if a marriage is going to work?
Morrie smiled. "Things are not that simple, Mitch."
I know.
"Still," he said, "there are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage: If you don't respect the other person, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don't know how to compromise, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you can't talk openly about what goes on between you, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. And if you don't have a common set of values in life, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. Your values must be alike.
"And the biggest one of those values, Mitch?"
Yes?
"Your belief in the importance of your marriage."
He sniffed, then closed his eyes for a moment.
"Personally," he sighed, his eyes still closed, "I think marriage is a very important thing to do, and you're missing a hell of a lot if you don't try it."
This is the second year I spend our wedding anniversary as a stay-at-home Mum. But this is the first time the Hubby asked me about my thoughts of our marriage. Frankly speaking, I haven't given it much thoughts. But when asked, the only thing I feel immediately is happiness. Needless to say, there were spousal arguments. Ultimately, both of us came from different background and upbringing, we have different habits. Frictions are unavoidable. My happiness came from all the efforts that both of us made to stay together (through thick and thin episodes of fights), the compromise that both of us made for each other's family and the sacrifices that both of us made for each other in the last 10 years to hold our small family together. There is something I'd like to put here to remind myself and to share with whoever that comes across this blog and who decides to read it.
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| 10 yellow sunshine-looking flowers: one for each year spent together... |
"I've learned this much about marriage," he said now. "You get tested. You find out who you are, who the other person is, and how you accommodate or don't."
Is there some kind of rule to know if a marriage is going to work?
Morrie smiled. "Things are not that simple, Mitch."
I know.
"Still," he said, "there are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage: If you don't respect the other person, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don't know how to compromise, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you can't talk openly about what goes on between you, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. And if you don't have a common set of values in life, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. Your values must be alike.
"And the biggest one of those values, Mitch?"
Yes?
"Your belief in the importance of your marriage."
He sniffed, then closed his eyes for a moment.
"Personally," he sighed, his eyes still closed, "I think marriage is a very important thing to do, and you're missing a hell of a lot if you don't try it."
-- "Tuesdays with Morrie: an old man, a young man, and life's greatest lesson", by Mitch Albom
==========I had planned to make a cake to surprise the Hubby. But he surprised me instead. For the past few days before our anniversary, he had been persistently asking me where I would like to go dinner. Knowing the nature of his job, I suggested a simple dinner at home and save the dining out for the weekend instead. I didn't want to tolerate the possibility of phone calls disturbing our dinner, not on our anniversary. On our anniversary day, the Hubby went about his morning ritual as usual, taking a shower and getting ready to send the Tiny Man to school, en route to his office. I went about my usual routine too, bustling about with the housework after I got home from walking the girl to school. The Hubby walked out into the living room, ready, but not in his usual office wear. He was in jeans! That means he took the day off! And he didn't tell me! Okay, he hinted, countless times, with questions about where to go to celebrate our anniversary. ^_^ Really, this is not the first time he surprised me this way. But I guess I never did learn to see through his tricks.
So he was on leave. That is a problem. I had planned to make a chocolate cake as a surprise for him. I had planned to have the cake ready, put it in the fridge and let him find it. My plans were ruined basically. And so, I told him about the cake. He laughed, like how he would always do when I did something silly. What a way to start our anniversary day ^_^
While the Hubby sent the Tiny Man to school, I rushed to whisk my slow cooking dish up so that I could get on with the cake. I haven't got the whole day to do all these because the Hubby suggested going to Ikea to get some chairs for the dining table! Right, I can manage this. Here's the plan: get the slow cooking dish cooking away in the slow cooker, whisk up the cake and bake it. Cake should be baked by around noon. From noon to about 2pm, shop for chairs in Ikea, get lunch and fetch the girl from school. Get back home, check that cake is cooled enough to garnish with chocolate garnache. Prepare the rest of dinner and be ready to fetch Tiny Man home by 5pm. Believe it or not, that was exactly how I spent my 10th wedding anniversary. But I was glad we didn't go out for dinner. The Hubby had phone calls to entertain. He was still entertaining those calls and pounding away on his notebook while I drove out to fetch the Tiny Man.
If it had been the first few years of our marriage, I would be irritable and miserable and felt absolutely "mistreated" by his gross "trickery" and downright insensitivity at not helping out while I was kept so busy the whole day rushing with dinner, cake, chairs and fetching the kids. But now, I am simply amused by the whole thing. Silly me for not guessing his game. Silly me for insisting on ploughing through the range of tasks; I could have just changed my plans. On the other hand, thanks to the Hubby for his willingness to go along with my plans.
It was a hectic day... Happy Anniversary!
Chocolate cake with chocolate garnache
(This is what I did after modifying and improvising on a butter cake recipe from Cooking Crave, I used a 8" round tin for this cake. Normally I would bake this cake in a 9" square tin.)
Ingredients for chocolate cake
Group 1
250g butter, softened (I prefer salted Golden Churn Creamery butter)
85g caster sugar
1 tsp vanilla essence
4 egg yolks
2 tbsp low fat yoghurt (I always put yoghurt into my cakes instead of milk)
170g cake flour
30g unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tsp baking powder
150g semi-sweetened dark chocolate, melted
Group 2
4 egg whites
85g castor sugar
Method
1. Melt the chocolate in a bowl over a pot of simmering water. Set aside to cool.
2. Preheat the oven to 170degC. Sift the cake flour, cocoa powder and baking powder together and set aside.
3. Grease 8" round tin and line with baking paper.
4. Beat butter and sugar together until light and fluffy. Add in the egg yolks one at a time, beat in thoroughly until creamy for each addition. Add the vanilla essence along with one of the egg yolks.
5. Fold in flour mixture, one spoonful at a time. Each spoonful must be well mixed.
6. After all the flour has been folded in, fold in the melted chocolate. Then set aside.
7. In a separate, sparkling clean bowl, whisk the egg whites until they are foamy. Add the sugar gradually and whisk until soft peaks form.
8. Add about a quarter of the whites into chocolate batter (6). Mix well and fold in the rest of the whites.
9. Gently fold in the low fat yoghurt at this point.
10. Tip the batter into baking tin and bake until a skewer inserted comes out clean. This should take between 40-50 minutes.
11. Remove cake from the oven, let it stand in the tin for about 5 minutes before tipping it out to cool on a wire rack.
Ingredients for Chocolate garnache
300g semi-sweet dark chocolate chips
250ml whipping cream
Method
1. Heat the whipping cream on very low heat until small bubbles start to form at the sides.
2. Remove from heat and pour the heated cream into the dark chocolate chips.
3. Let it stand so that the chocolate can melt slowly, around 1 minute.
4. Stir slowly until a smooth chocolatey mixture is formed.
5. Use this garnache immediately. This means that the cake has to be sliced into two layers first and be ready for garnishing.
Assembling my cake
I cannot make a proper layered cake to save my own life. I cannot slice the 8" round cake into two equal layers and ensure that these have beautiful smooth surfaces. But I tried anyhow, trimming away the uneven, slightly domed top and slicing away at the slightly burnt bottom. Placing one layer of the cake on my wire rack and a plate beneath the rack to catch the dripping garnache, I spread a thin layer of garnache onto the cake. Then sandwich this thin layer of garnache with the top layer and poured the rest of the garnache over the whole cake. Watching the garnache spread all over the top and dripping down onto the sides was pretty satisfying. Satisfying because there is no need to nudge and coax the garnache to cover up any ugly cake surface. The slow smooth flow of the garnache does the cover-up job on its own, flowing decisively along its chosen path to disguise all portions of imperfections for me.
Notes:
- The cake was a little denser this time. I think I put in too much melted chocolate. Next time try just 75g of melted chocolate.
- The garnache was pretty sweet for my liking. I think it would be better to use unsweetened dark chocolate chips.
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| Those chairs from Ikea. |
It was a hectic day... Happy Anniversary!
Chocolate cake with chocolate garnache
(This is what I did after modifying and improvising on a butter cake recipe from Cooking Crave, I used a 8" round tin for this cake. Normally I would bake this cake in a 9" square tin.)
Ingredients for chocolate cake
Group 1
250g butter, softened (I prefer salted Golden Churn Creamery butter)
85g caster sugar
1 tsp vanilla essence
4 egg yolks
2 tbsp low fat yoghurt (I always put yoghurt into my cakes instead of milk)
170g cake flour
30g unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tsp baking powder
150g semi-sweetened dark chocolate, melted
Group 2
4 egg whites
85g castor sugar
Method
1. Melt the chocolate in a bowl over a pot of simmering water. Set aside to cool.
2. Preheat the oven to 170degC. Sift the cake flour, cocoa powder and baking powder together and set aside.
3. Grease 8" round tin and line with baking paper.
4. Beat butter and sugar together until light and fluffy. Add in the egg yolks one at a time, beat in thoroughly until creamy for each addition. Add the vanilla essence along with one of the egg yolks.
5. Fold in flour mixture, one spoonful at a time. Each spoonful must be well mixed.
6. After all the flour has been folded in, fold in the melted chocolate. Then set aside.
7. In a separate, sparkling clean bowl, whisk the egg whites until they are foamy. Add the sugar gradually and whisk until soft peaks form.
8. Add about a quarter of the whites into chocolate batter (6). Mix well and fold in the rest of the whites.
9. Gently fold in the low fat yoghurt at this point.
10. Tip the batter into baking tin and bake until a skewer inserted comes out clean. This should take between 40-50 minutes.
11. Remove cake from the oven, let it stand in the tin for about 5 minutes before tipping it out to cool on a wire rack.
Ingredients for Chocolate garnache
300g semi-sweet dark chocolate chips
250ml whipping cream
Method
1. Heat the whipping cream on very low heat until small bubbles start to form at the sides.
2. Remove from heat and pour the heated cream into the dark chocolate chips.
3. Let it stand so that the chocolate can melt slowly, around 1 minute.
4. Stir slowly until a smooth chocolatey mixture is formed.
5. Use this garnache immediately. This means that the cake has to be sliced into two layers first and be ready for garnishing.
Assembling my cake
I cannot make a proper layered cake to save my own life. I cannot slice the 8" round cake into two equal layers and ensure that these have beautiful smooth surfaces. But I tried anyhow, trimming away the uneven, slightly domed top and slicing away at the slightly burnt bottom. Placing one layer of the cake on my wire rack and a plate beneath the rack to catch the dripping garnache, I spread a thin layer of garnache onto the cake. Then sandwich this thin layer of garnache with the top layer and poured the rest of the garnache over the whole cake. Watching the garnache spread all over the top and dripping down onto the sides was pretty satisfying. Satisfying because there is no need to nudge and coax the garnache to cover up any ugly cake surface. The slow smooth flow of the garnache does the cover-up job on its own, flowing decisively along its chosen path to disguise all portions of imperfections for me.
Notes:
- The cake was a little denser this time. I think I put in too much melted chocolate. Next time try just 75g of melted chocolate.
- The garnache was pretty sweet for my liking. I think it would be better to use unsweetened dark chocolate chips.
Beautifully written about your ten years of marriage. I am just 24 and planning to get married two years from now, I get a lot of motivation and learning from such posts to stay committed and make things work.
ReplyDeleteLove the chocolate cake and ganache. Looks neat :)
Hello,
DeleteThanks for visiting and congratulations on your decision to tie the knot. It will be a learning journey.
I liked the cake too, but on hindsight, the ganache was a little too sweet for me. Then again, a little sweetness is appropriate for an anniversary!